Attempting to upstage a pretzel is a very twisted endeavor. Anyway, trying to trump truly twisted treasures could tie me in knots. Best to let the pretzels do the talking and let the auxiliary chili and honey sing backup.
The time consuming nature of this recipe will allow (or condemn) one to spend the entirety of an afternoon in the kitchen with loved ones. We took advantage to this time to 1) fight 2) make graham cracker houses and 3) Illuminate beer lights.
4 ½ C flour (divided)
2 packages of dry yeast
1 ½ C milk
¼ C sugar
1 t salt
1/3 C honey
1 T chili powder
½ t hot red pepper flakes
½ t coriander
2 T vegetable oil
Garlic pepper seasoning
- Mix together yeast and 1 ½ C of flour in a large bowl.
- In a pan, heat milk, sugar, salt, honey, seasonings and vegetable oil, just until the sugar and honey dissolve.
- Pour milk mix onto the flour and beat with an electric mixer for one minute.
- Stir in the remaining flour.
- Knead mix on a floured board for 5 minutes. (I made the kids do this part. I need not knead.)
- Form kneaded flour into a ball and place in a greased bowl.
- Cover bowl and allow to rest for 2 hours.
- Roll out dough into a large square.
- Cut the dough into 12’ by ½’ strips.
- Stretch dough then form into pretzels shapes, using water to ‘glue’ the pieces together.
- Bake on a greased baking sheet at 475F for 5 minutes.
- Remove from oven and boil in small batches for 2 minutes, flipping once.
- Dry pretzels on a towel and place them back on the baking sheet.
- Brush with melted butter and season with garlic pepper.
- Bake at 350F for 25 minutes.
All was silent in the kitchen except for The Pirate humming Twisted Sister’s “We’re Not Gonna Take It” during our evening meal of pretzels and carrots. (Ironic, no?). It was weird. She doesn’t look like Dee Snider. Maybe she is upset that the building inspectors are all but certain to condemn her cracker house as ‘unfit’ to live in. Admittedly The Pirate fared better than Chili Jr, as he ate the walls of his graham cracker house as they were going up. To no one’s surprise, gravity ruled the day and the structure failed to stand for lack of walls.
The verdict is in- All like the pretzels except Pre, because he is on a contrarian streak. The pretzels were excellent warm and would have paired well with a beer. (None for me today). Both chili and honey notes were present but in the background, as baked pretzel goodness dominated.
From start to finish, this chili took at least 3.5 hours. If you want to try this at home, best to plan ahead, as this is an advanced chili.