That which the Involuntary Taste Panel viewed as a long standing joke is now a stark reality, served on a breakfast plate. They failed to consider that I demonstrate a patent lack of remorse and have no sense of humor. These personality afflictions, coupled with an absolute disregard for healthy eating, have resulted in the spam, egg, sausage, and spam chili.
Moron (sic) me later, for now let’s focus on the ITP.
Mrs. Chili365 (age unknown) – donates to spam related causes
Chili Jr (age 13)- Has love/hate relationship with spam. Enjoys the flavor and has entered the third phase of therapy with the goal of overcoming his crippling fear of spam’s texture.
Pre (age 11)- Has invested large amounts of time and the entire family fortune into growing spam in aquaculture. (Those custom spam-fitting scuba masks are not as inexpensive as you’d think).
The Pirate (age 9)- Views spam as art- Tragically, as both medium and muse.
Me (continued)- I enrolled in hand modeling school but ended up burning out. The pace of the curriculum was ridiculously aggressive. It was just too much, too fast. I ended up unceremoniously dropping out a scant 8 credits short of my degree. My hand modeling dreams (mostly) behind me, I make chili every day- that is 316 consecutive days so far this year. As a bonus, I have crafted a *special* chili for an online chili cook-off. The recipe goes live at 11 am today on the Ranting Chef’s website (find it here). If you get a chance, check it out. Stick around and spend some time perusing the Ranting Chef’s website, as it is chock full of fantastic information. On Friday, voting opens for the chili contest. Check out the other chili recipes on R.C.’s website and cast your vote for the finest.
1 lb pork sausage (I use “Old Folks” brand “medium’ sausage)
6 oz Spam, cubed
6 oz Hot and Spicy Spam, cubed (well it’d hardly be spam, eggs, sausage, and spam chili without two types of span, would it?)
1 ½ C diced green pepper
1 C diced white onion
3 cloves garlic, smashed
2 T chili powder
1 t paprika
1 t cumin
1 t Mexican oregano
½ t coriander
- Fry sausage until browned and drain off the fat.
- Add remaining ingredients, with the exception of the eggs, and fry for another 10 minutes.
- Push chili to one side of the pan and add raw eggs.
- Cook eggs, stirring occasionally, until they have set.
- Mix the contents of the pot well, indiscriminately splashing in hot sauce as you go.
Wow, this recipe made a whole lot of chili. Think of it as Silverstein’s “Giving Tree”, except made out of spam and pork sausage. The flavor was…..well imagine a pork explosion in full-blown Technicolor, replete with all the trimmings and trappings of chili uber-greatness. Seriously, if you love pork or spam or pork snuggled up closely to chunks of spam, then this chili is your breakfast destiny.
To their surprise, the ITP enjoyed the chili. As they pointed out, it listed to the spicy side and (probably) could have used two or three more eggs. I very much enjoyed mine with some routine angioplasty and a side of toast.
Moral dilemma aside, I am really beginning to enjoy working with spam. Perhaps my humble spam recipes will serve as an archetype of canned meat greatness. The powers that be may even notice and perhaps, with a little bit of luck (and a few more credit hours of training) , I could catch on as hand model for Hormel.