Mrs. Chili365 was fairly determined to take me with my wounded shoulder to the emergency room. Apparently, she has forgotten the events of my last trip to the emergency room. That evening started out on the wrong foot, as I didn’t take the time to use the restroom prior to hockey practice, even though I really need to go. Totally fueled up on coffee, I really had to pee 30 minutes into practice. 40 minutes in and I had to “go” so badly that my teeth felt like they were floating. 45 minutes into practice, I was laying on the ice in excruciated pain. No, I had not been flattened by Marty McSorley or Bob Probert. The fact is, I was a youth hockey coach and, while demonstrating the proper way to fall, I managed to rip through some fairly important abdominal muscles. (Thus, I was demonstrating the wrong way to fall, my bad.) I managed to finish practice, and after some intense negations which lasted 90 minutes, I finally agreed to allow the good missus to take me to the hospital. 30 minutes after arriving, a nurse greeted us and took me to the exam room where I was asked to provide a urine sample. Moments later, I emerged from the restroom, holding a completely full 1 quart specimen bottle and asked the nurse for a second one. The look on her face quickly turned from surprise to shock, and then to bewildered amusement. Upon regaining her composure, the nurse quickly asked, “Was that it? I mean, was that the problem? Well, I mean, do you feel better now?”
I let her know that while I felt somewhat relieved, as I had been waiting for about 6 hours to urinate, my little potty break had done nothing to repair my lacerated muscles. I further added, “I haven’t finished, could I have another bottle?”
The nurse, laughing, replied, “You don’t need to give us any more. I think we have what we need.”
Through the remainder of my visit, each nurse or doctor I encountered greeted me with the same wry smile. This is how legends are born, I guess. As for a return visit, however, I am not too excited about making on.
On an unrelated note, as I walking out of work today, I (inexplicably) smelled popcorn and cotton candy. This had me thinking of the circus, which turned my thoughts to carnies. After I resisted succumbing to a flight of fright (mind you, I am nursing an ailing shoulder, which I don’t want to make worse, such that I end up in the hospital again), I thought of Brunswick stew. Nothing says carnies like Brunswick stew.
½ C barbecue sauce
1 T chili powder
1 lb boneless pork chops
1 ¼ C cooked corn (we used leftover grilled corn)
1 C frozen peas
1 can (14.5 oz) Mexican Style diced tomatoes
1 T chili powder
1 t garlic powder
1 t cumin
2 T jalapeno salsa (El Pato brand)
½ C chopped onion
1 ½ C vegetable juice
¼ C barbecue sauce
- Mix ½ C barbeque sauce with 1 T of chili powder and mix well.
- Grill chops, slathering occasionally with sauce/chili mix.
- Allow cooked chops to cool.
- Mix grilled chops and remaining ingredients in a pot.
- Simmer for 45 minutes.
It is not often that Mrs. Chili365 greets me with a “Hey your chili is really good.” But tonight that is exactly the welcome I received. It WAS really good. The stew was thick and substantial with delicious peas and corn accompanying the chunks of barbequed pork. There was also plenty heat to go along with the sweet barbeque sauce. Thhe dish was magnificent enough to make even a carny blush. As chili goes, this was surely a fine specimen.