Buttered Wonder bread with garlic salt will get you by
Brunt toast and smoke alarms will make you cry
When you need some garlic bread with a little extra thrust
Chili’s got the spicy sauce to butter the crust
Here’s how to turn garlic bread from dormouse to dominator.
But first here are some things you should know:
- Freshly pressed garlic has a superior flavor profile to dried garlic.
- Care should be taken when broiling. No one (except an arsonist) wants to burn the house down.
- Miley Cyrus is my turtle’s godmother.
- If you’d like the bread even spicier, do not preemptively remove the seeds from the jalapenos.
- I doubt you could ever use too much butter.
- The more phallic the bread, the more Chili365 and his sons will snicker.
- Day 273 (we have completed 9 months)
1 (1lb) loaf of French bread
1 stick (4oz) of butter
8 cloves of garlic, smashed
1 T chili powder
2 jalapenos, seeded and diced (about ½ C)
1 T onion flakes
¼ C El Pato Brand jalapeno salsa
- Cut loaf in half length-wise.
- In a bowl, mix remaining ingredients with an electric mixer.
- Spread mixture onto both half of the bread.
- Broil under high heat for a short time.
What is it about broiling that incites my urge to incinerate? Once again, I was seen running from the house toting a pan of smoking near-char. Luckily, the chili garlic bread survived. Not only did it survive, it absolutely thrived. This was a dish with enough bluster to pass muster. Certainly there was plenty of garlic flavor but this was joined by a piquant spiciness that enhanced the experience. The overall effect was indeed wholesome. The only improvement I could suggest for this fantastic offering is to throw some finely ground cooked sausage into the mix. It then would be a meal to stand on its own.