Occasionally it is those spur of the moment decisions that spur those moments we best remember. This notion brings to mind our impromptu adoption of an adult pig. Any measure of foresight on our part would have expressly forbidden us from bringing Lois the Sow home. Prudence is the better part of intelligence and we eschewed both. All reasoning was inhumed by the desire to help this poor creature and we unsagaciously allowed Lois to occupy out entire kitchen for many days. During her time as “kitchen resident magna cum laude”, we learned all about Lois’s tastes.
Lois likes: 1) Being fed at exactly 6am. 2) Licking the kitchen floor until is sparkled. 3) Passing gas. (Here I’m not able to determine with absolute certainty that breaking wind was one of her great passions but, given that she ceaselessly and tirelessly flatulated, I have an inkling that she pretty much enjoyed stinking up the place.) 4) Nuzzling my kids with total and undeniable love and affection.
Lois dislikes: 1) Being picked up. The scream of a frightened porker must reach at least 100 decibels and easily can peel the paint off a kitchen wall. 2) Loud music. This forced me use headphones to listen to my steady diet of Starland Vocal Band. (Sheesh). 3) Leaving us. Trust me on this one, she is far better off as a pet on a farm where she can live in a barn with other farm animals. (Our kitchen is tight for space. I always felt bad when I had to cross-check Lois in order to grab my morning bowl of cornflakes. [Canada- there is your hockey reference]).
Lois would be fond of today’s recipe, as it contains no pork. Additionally, it is every bit as extempore as her adoption- I saw mushroom that needed to be prepared and notice that someone had let out the red wine vinegar. (I didn’t have the heart to ask the kids what they were up to with the red wine vinegar but I momentarily suffered from a bout of don’t-ask-don’t-tell-uritis.)
Here we go 2/3 of the way through the year. 242 straight days of chili.
1 C red wine vinegar
¾ C water
1 T chili powder
1 dried chipotle pepper, cut into small pieces
3 cloves garlic sliced
1 t garlic salt
10 oz white mushrooms, sliced
- In a 4 C glass measure, combine all ingredients (except mushrooms) and mix well.
- Microwave on high for 2-3 minutes.
- Stir well and add mushrooms.
- Mix well and cover.
- Let sit at room temperature for at least an hour. (The flavor will continue to strengthen with the passage of time).
Memorable? Yes, having a pig live in our house will forever be recognized as a formative experience in the lives of our children (The ITP). They learned animal husbandry, loving kindness, selfless charity, and unquestioning teamwork through working through Lois’s tenure. Will they remember the mushrooms? Maybe. They tasted great with a spice and garlic presence that was noticeable and zestily refreshing. I liked them with hamburgers and rice. The ITP gobbled them straight up, no chaser. Though the Chili Chipotle and Garlic pickled mushrooms were revered by all, they were not adored to the extent to which we loved our pig. It is a mystery of human nature how even the most passing of relationships can leave the most indelible mark.