Chili Chicken Burgers

Day 236 and the truth hit me in the face like a splash of cold acetone.    The Pirate and I had been discussing training a dog and I mentioned that we could buy a pooch and teach it to make chili.  The Pirate countered that chili was too easy for a dog, as “there is nothing to it, throw some stuff in a pot and add chili powder.  That’s all you do.”  I was about to “correct” her but instead stopped short.  The women at my house can smell bullshit from a mile away and I thought I may do well just to save my breath for the marathon, now a scant 13 days off.


A departure from pots, the chicken patties were grilled over a an open fire.  It was “all I could do” not to burst into laughter as I contemplated The Pirate’s comments while sipping a beer and tending the cooking fire.  The funny part being that she is mostly correct in her assertion that chili making is at its core “art of the haphazard.”




2 lbs ground chicken

1/4 C El Pato brand jalapeno salsa

1 T chili powder

1/4 C finely diced red onion

1 t seasoned salt

1/2 t  black pepper



1)  Mix ingredients together and form into hamburger patties.

2) Grill over an open fire while laughing and drinking beer.

Chili Chicken burger

Tasting Notes:


Chicken burgers are not the same as hamburgers.  You tell that by looking at their names.  While I will always favor beef hamburgers, the spicy chicken burgers threw a nice curveball.  As they were sticky and icky to work with in the raw form,  I opted to grill them on foil.  This worked quite well and the burgers ended up similar to spicy chicken breasts in both flavor and texture.  The ITP was happy and, as a result, so was I.  No bullshit.   Note,  In the middle of trees and lakes the connection with nature is good while the connection to the web is bad.

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4 Responses to Chili Chicken Burgers

  1. I love your work. It would mean the world if you checked out my cartoons and to give your opinion? Thank you so much

  2. Too funny, smart girl, that Pirate! Maybe she’d like my video of Gibson, my “Lap”rador getting a coke from the fridge. I know, there’s many dogs of tv doing this, but they have no guest appearance of Homer the Cat, nor bad lighting and uncut footage. Neither do they have heavy breathing, nor does the door of the freezer slowly open by accident.

    When I was at my sister’s a few weeks ago Gibs got the beer. Unfortunately, it was in a can and unfamiliar with such a device he caused a puncture. While I thought the recipient should suck it down college style right from the can, and attempted to start a chant, alas, college was about 30 years too long ago for us; I was vetoed and it was poured into a glass and Gibs licked the floor. Luckily, it was not Hamms.

    I like the idea of all the salsa and the onions in this. I’ve been trying to make chicken burgers but they always turn out dry.

    • spasture says:

      Gibson is fantastic. Can you teach my chickens to receive cold beverages?
      I, being not too prideful, would have shotgunned the beer- if nothing else for the sake of nostalgia.
      Chicken burgers often turn out too dry, for this recipe they did not but they weren’t all that flavorful. Sometimes in order to keep ground chicken moist, I’ll add egg. Come to think of it, that is like genocide. Genocide is wrong.

      • HA! Shotgunned – that is the word! Gibs is fantastic & my son things he could be taught to bag leaves. I vetoed the idea – it takes more than just training to bag leaves – it’s an art requiring good judgement! 🙂

        I’ve tried breadcrumbs, oil, dressing and mayo all with tasty but dry results – which begs the question, why not just eat the chicken! But I’m determined.

        Time to move on to egg – chickens, I’ve heard can be cannibals, but good for you for upholding a moral code!

        Your chili poutine on Ranting Chef looks wonderful!

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