Retrospection is the vocation of the devil, just as numbers are the pursuit of hoodlum accountants. Midway through an epoch hopeless defined by the absurd reality of chili every day, it time to fire off some digits.
The half-year in review:
Unique chili Recipes- 184
Recipes using SPAM- 1
Empty chili powder jars on top of my fridge- 12
Tablespoon measures in my kitchen -4
Gallons of beer brewed- 30
Gallons of Beer consumed while making chili- not confident on exact number, but Betty Ford has my number on speed dial.
Personal Records (running) set on the chili diet- 10 (Pre- 2, Chili Jr- 2, The Pirate-1, Chili365-5)
Miles run- >750
Top 3 finishes at running races- 4
Household birthdays celebrated with chili- 4 (including the chickens)
Number of chilis that ended up in the thrash- 3
Members in the Involuntary Tasting Panel- 4
Earliest hour at which chili was consumed- 3:45am
Latest Hour- 10:30pm
Jalapenos in a half gallon jar- 750
Cities in which we’ve made chili- 6
References to Canada-18
References to Grace Slick- 1
Breakfast chilis- 10
Grilled chili recipes- 18
References to vasectomies- 1
Actual vasectomies- 0
Nights with acute GI distress- A gentlemen never tells.
Chili365 cookbooks in the works – one
Photos taken of chili- >400
Photos taken of my children- <30
Chili365’s resting heart rate- 56
Pig Hearts eaten- ~ 1
Times I’ve answered “chili” to the question “What are we having for supper?”- 600
Chilis the pet chickens have sampled-4
Slow cooker chilis-21
Popes offended- 1
Heads of State Impressed- 0
Chilis rated as “do not make again”- 18
Mentions of Chili365 in the Warren report- 0
I’m sure everyone will be spending the long weekend making chili with summer sausage. I thought that I’d get a head start.
4 oz summer sausage, diced
4 oz cream cheese
1/3 C sour cream
3 T spicy pickled peppers, diced
2 t chili powder
2 cloves garlic, mashed.
- Place ingredients in a bowl and mix as well as you are able.
- Microwave 2 minutes on “defrost”.
- Mix again.
- Microwave again, this time on high for 30 seconds.
- Mix once more.
- Serve with crackers or pretzels.
Liked it: Chili Jr.
Thought it was ok: Chili365, The Pirate
Did not like: Mrs. Chili 365, Pre
It tasted fine, but I thought my heart was going to stop beating, on account of all the cholesterol imparted by this dish. Not only that, the sodium concentration of this chili was just a tick over that of the Dead Sea. Today’s chili represented my second shot at a cream cheese based chili dip and all were in agreement that the Crab Snack version was superior to this iteration.