Turns out Tuesday’s beer explosion version 2.0 wasn’t as bad at the first homebrew denotation (picture the ceiling oozing with brew.) So too was Tuesday’s incident less severe than the microwaved egg detonation of my childhood. Being told that you can’t do something has never stopped me. I seem to have a quiet and tone-deaf tenacity that allows me to accomplish the expressly forbidden. When Ma Chili365 warned me that microwaving an egg would have grave consequences, I merely took it as a challenge. Suffice to say, post-egg-apocalypse kitchen looked like something out of a Jackson Pollock meets the Easter Bunny horror film. The second degree burns on my face and neck were temporary. The tiny bits of yolk that integrated into the ceiling paint and found refuge in the nooks and crannies of the microwave were permanent.
The idea for tonight’s crusty, cheesy chili came from my friend Agile Writer. Placing cheese inside of crust is a brilliant idea. Admittedly, I am not patient or dexterous enough to shape the crust into super-cool hearts as the Agile Writer has here. Besides, I seem only capable of making hearts into chili. Instead of taking design cues from the organ-level, I went more elemental and fashioned the crusty chili paradise in the shape of a mitochondrion (sans cristae).
2 packs of Better Crocker Pizza crust ix (6.5 oz each)
1 C tomato sauce
1 T chili powder
2 t sugar
1 t garlic powder
1 T dried onion flakes
1/4 C parmesan cheese
1 ½ C cottage cheese
1 C black olives, sliced
1) Prepare the 2 pizza crusts according to package directions.
2) In a glass measure, combine sauce, chili powder, garlic powder, sugar, and onion flakes. This is your chili sauce.
3) Microwave on “defrost” for 6 minutes.
4) Place one pizza crust on a lightly greased cookie sheet.
5) Top with chili sauce, parmesan, cottage cheese, and black olives.
6) Place the second pizza crust on top of this and pinch ends crusts together, forming a yummy chili-envelope.
7) Bake at 425 for 30 minutes.
8) Remove from oven and allow to sit 10 minutes before cutting.
The ITP muttered “um pretty good” in between breaths as they shoveled the crusty chili paradise into their mouths. I found the dish to be quite pleasing, with a nice chili presence and pairing well with a brown ale. Mozzarella cheese would have been lovely here but, as luck would have it, my time was limited on my return trip from work. I had to choose between buying yeast for beer brewing or buying cheese. Beer won.